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"I'll Take "Jobs That SUCK!" for $1,000, Alex"

Secret Service picks the Tallest, Whitest, Straightest guy possible to guard Kamala Harris during the DC Pride Parade this weekend. How I imagine it went:

Boss: "Hey, Frank - remember how I told you you'd regret making me look bad? Well, you're pulling Pride Parade duty with VP Cackleputa - try to be inconspicuous, dress as gay as you can."

Frank: *Grabs a Charlie Sheen, Two-and-a-Half-Men-looking bowling shirt*

Frank: "Please, shoot me and her... now... Please... one more cackle and Ill do it myself..."

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