Secret Service picks the Tallest, Whitest, Straightest guy possible to guard Kamala Harris during the DC Pride Parade this weekend. How I imagine it went:
Boss: "Hey, Frank - remember how I told you you'd regret making me look bad? Well, you're pulling Pride Parade duty with VP Cackleputa - try to be inconspicuous, dress as gay as you can."
Frank: *Grabs a Charlie Sheen, Two-and-a-Half-Men-looking bowling shirt*
Frank: "Please, shoot me and her... now... Please... one more cackle and Ill do it myself..."